Youngsters-friendly, Rapid-fire Q&A about Political Principles

From Royal Serf:

An eighteen-year-old boy from the audience asked, “Mr. Marianto, could we have a youngsters-friendly, rapid-fire Q&A about political principles? First: the principle of Individual Rights?”

     “Live and let live. Thou shall not coerce.”

“Capitalism?”

     “Mind your own business. Good work is the key to good fortune.”

“Socialism?”

     “Babysitting adults by force. Legalization of robbery.”

“Mixed economy?”

     “Clean water with drops of poison. A mixture of freedom and controls devoid of principles.”

“Antitrust Laws?”

     “Russian roulette, with the government holding the gun to every businessman’s head.  Government-mined fields traversed by businessmen.”

“Regulations?”

     “Shackles for wealth and job creators.”

“Profit?”

     “To the irrational: damn if you do; damn if you don’t. Greed if you profit; greed if you don’t.”

“Do good by force?”

     “What President George Washington called ‘abhorrent’. The power-luster’s subterfuge. Absolving the lazy from the necessity of thinking. Arranged marriage.”

“Coercion?”

     “Military draft. Taxation. Government as CEO of the economy. The command to eat vegetables.”

“Centrist?”

     “Too lazy or cowardly to take up a position. Revels in contradictions.”

“Extremist?”

     “A pragmatist’s description of one who has integrity.”

“Pragmatist?”

     “Anti-reality. Anti-reason. One who blanks out the past, the future, the whys, the wherefores, and the hows.”

“Lobbying?”

     “Courting crooks.”

“Dirty Politicians?”

     “Power-hungry. Tax-guzzlers.”